Raising our children as useful members of your family and our society. By Johnson Choi in SF on 5-29-26

Raising our children as useful members of your family and our society. By Johnson Choi in SF on 5-29-26 將子女培養成家庭與社會的有用成員. 作者：蔡永強，2026年5月29日

我在稅務、本地與國際諮詢及財富管理領域從事了45年工作。每年，都有十幾位客戶來到我的辦公室，抱怨因為子女的關係，無法安穩退休或離開美國返回中國享受高質安全的退休生活.

由於與這些客戶相識數十年，我會直接問他們：「你把子女當寵物來養，還是當成能夠面對挑戰的人？」

超過一半的時候，答案顯示他們把子女當寵物來養就註定了他們子女的失敗。

我的祖父、父親和我（我從他們身上學到）遵循幾個簡單的規則：孩子22歲必須搬出父母家，沒有藉口。以前想進香港的大學很難，所以中學沒考上的，18歲就得離開。我父親有10個孩子，其中6個考上大學，所以他們可以住在家裡，或由父親負擔費用在香港以外的地方寄宿，直到畢業。畢業後，他們必須搬出去。從我小學開始，祖父就強調父親的教導，這讓我在童年時期就有了追求成功的動力。

有些客戶說這在美國不可能做到。我告訴他們，我在美國也是按照祖父和父親教我的方式來做。我的兒子和女兒在美國出生，大學畢業後都搬出去了。他們在夏威夷和奧勒岡州擁有多處總價值數百萬美元的房產，沒有向我要過一分錢。

我們的孩子將來如何，很大程度上取決於我們是把他們培養成家庭與社會的負擔，還是資產。我們蔡家自1875年以來，已經證明了我們的方法是有效的。

I spent 45 years in tax, domestic and international consulting, and wealth management. Every year, a dozen clients come to my office complaining they can’t retire peacefully or leave the US because of their children.

Since I’ve known these clients for decades, I ask them a direct question: “Did you raise your children like pets, or as human beings who can face challenges?”

More than half the time, the answer reveals they set their children up for failure from birth.

My grandfather, father, and I (I learned from them) follow a few simple rules: at age 22, children must leave the parents’ house—no excuses. In the old days, getting into a Hong Kong university was hard, so those who failed high school had to leave at 18. My father had 10 children; six got into universities, so they could stay at home or board at his expense outside Hong Kong until graduation. Upon graduating, they had to leave. My father’s teaching, reinforced by my grandfather since grade school, gave us the drive to succeed from childhood.

Some clients say this is impossible in America. I tell them I practiced the same approach in the US that my grandfather and father taught me. Both my son and daughter left home after college. They own multiple properties in Hawaii and Oregon worth millions, without asking me for a penny.

How our children turn out largely depends on whether we raise them to be a liability or an asset to their family and society. The Choi family has proven this method works since 1875.